


Sweet Baby James

by Daretodream66



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bucky Barnes Gets a Hug, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, But like he's really a daddy to Baby Bucky, Captain America Sam Wilson, Daddy Steve, F/M, Fluff, M/M, Protective Steve Rogers, Protective Wanda, Steve Rogers Gets a Hug, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, baby bucky
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-30
Updated: 2019-11-30
Packaged: 2021-02-24 16:01:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21620611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daretodream66/pseuds/Daretodream66
Summary: Endgame Loki grants a wish.  Steve drops the shield to take care of Bucky.
Relationships: Happy Hogan/May Parker (Spider-Man), James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Comments: 11
Kudos: 145





	Sweet Baby James

Part 1

“You know what I wish?” Bucky sits in the lounge chair on the patio of the compound looking up at the stars. He asked FRIDAY to turn the lights off on this side of the building so he could stargaze like he did when he was a kid.

Wanda watches a shooting star. “There’s a shooting star. Don’t tell me your wish. Wish for it.” Head still on the chair back she turns so she can see his face. His eyes are closed and his lips move like he’s actually doing what she said. Opening his eyes, he looks over at his young friend. “What did you wish for?”

He grins, which doesn’t happen often. “That I could go back to a time when things weren’t complicated.”

That night, when he crawls in bed, he thinks about simpler times. Times when there wasn’t enough food, but he didn’t know that. Times when all he had to worry about was whether or not Steve would get sick. Times when his little sisters would smile up at him like he hung the moon. Times when he didn’t understand that the love he felt for Steve wasn’t brotherly like everyone thought. He drifts into sleep and dreams about running through the streets of Brooklyn and hearing Steve’s laughter.

He doesn’t feel the presence in the room with him. He doesn’t feel the green magic engulf him. And he doesn’t feel his body change. “My, my, my, aren’t you adorable.”

Wanda wakes the next morning, stumbling into the kitchen for coffee. Bucky isn’t there. Pouring the cup, she checks outside for the ex-hydra assassin because he’s always up by this time. She doesn’t find him. “FRIDAY, where is Bucky?”

‘Sergeant Barnes is in his quarters.’

Humming to herself, Wanda heads into the kitchen, fixes a second cup of coffee, and heads down the hall. As she gets closer to Bucky’s door, she hears the ear-splitting screaming. Dropping the coffee cups to the floor, she bursts through the door using her magic. The door lands half on top of the sofa across the room, her eyes glow with red fire and she storms the room. The crying is coming from the bedroom, so she throws that door open too. In the doorway, she stops in her tracks, seeing what’s on the bed.

It takes her several minutes of staring at the baby on the bed and the baby staring back to jumpstart her into action. Going to the bed, the baby looks at her with fear and that nearly breaks her heart. “Hey little one, did I scare you?” She reaches out and the baby reaches back. “Oh, I didn’t mean to. I was scared that something was trying to get you.” She cuddles him close and he seems to want more of the close contact. “Ah, aren’t you sweet.”

As Wanda holds him close, she lets her magic scan his body. From the lack of a left arm, she knows who she’s holding, but what she doesn’t know is how. There’s lingering magic in him, something she’s not familiar with. It isn’t Strange’s magic, so something else must have done this. The question becomes why. She feels warmth against her stomach and starts to giggle when she hears a tiny grunt.

She nearly snorts when she pulls back just enough to look at the baby’s face. He looks up through his lashes. “Oh little one, it’s okay. Sometimes we just have to go, huh?” He burrows back into her chest. “FRIDAY, I’m going to need you to order some supplies until I figure this out. Anything a baby…how old is he?”

A light from one of the security optics runs over the baby. ‘It appears that Sergeant Barnes is 14 months old.’

“Well then, anything a 14 month old will need and this is a rush.” Wanda stands, cuddling Bucky to her chest. “Let’s get cleaned up so we can go eat.” She heads to her own quarters because she knows that there won’t be anything usable in Bucky’s. Wanda knows that she’s got to get someone else involved in this, but most of the compound is vacated due to a mission. The only other person here, besides agents that she doesn’t trust with this, is Bruce, but she’s also not sure how Bucky, in this state, will react to Bruce. As she fixes breakfast, she folds a dishtowel, sits the tiny ex-assassin in a chair and loosely ties the towel around his middle, so he can sit and watch her. He’s in one of her t-shirts, since it’s smaller than anything in his apartment and she used a hand towel from the bathroom as a make-shift diaper. 

As the bacon cooks, she looks at him, playing with a spoon. He waves it around, squealing at it, then beats it on the chair. Looking up, he sees her watching and grins a big toothless smile. His brown curls in his face and his big crystal blue eyes shining in pleasure. His little legs, poking out from under the t-shirt that still swallows him are chubby and he wiggles his toes in joy. She kneels down in front of him and he giggles while grabbing her hair. “Oh my god, you are so cute.” As an afterthought tinged with sadness, she adds, “And happy.” She sighs and stands, going back to the stove.

After a breakfast of scrambled eggs with cheese, she heads to the lab. Wanda almost, almost doesn’t want to fix this. He’s been smiling and laughing and she doesn’t want to take that away from him, but something magical is at work and that has to be dealt with. Bruce pulls the goggles from his face when she comes in. He looks at her, then at the baby without a left arm. Putting two and two together isn’t difficult. “What the hell?”

Bucky’s eyes shoot up at the voice and instead of screaming in terror at the big, green man, he grins and tries to launch himself out of Wanda’s arms and into Bruce’s. As they get closer, he makes grabby hand at Bruce, who looks at him unsure, but resisting that giant smile and crinkled nose, is impossible, so very carefully, he takes the baby. “We have a mystery and you’re the only other person I trust. I can feel magic in him, but can’t figure out where it came from.”

As Bruce tries to reply, Bucky reaches up, grabbing his cheek. Wanda laughs. “I’m correct that this is Barnes?” Wanda nods and Bucky lays his head on Bruce’s chest. “Who the hell would do this and why?”

“That’s what we have to figure out and then we have to figure out a way to tell Steve.” Bucky’s little head shoots up.

Looking around searching, he makes his first word. “eve.”

They run every test that Bruce can think of, but nothing usable is found. “We need to call Strange.” Wanda nods, picking Bucky up and bouncing him on her hip. Bruce watches and can’t help smiling. “FRIDAY, could you get Dr. Strange?”

‘Of course Dr. Banner.’

Flashes of gold light flicker and grow into a portal. “I do hope this is important, I do have a life outside of Avengers’ business.” Strange always sounds affronted when called like this.

Wanda just rolls her eyes. “Well, we have some random magic here that’s turned Bucky into a 14 month old baby, so…”

“Interesting.” He comes over and starts to take the baby, but Bucky burrows into Wanda’s chest. Hiding his little face and not wanting to go to the strange man. “Oh for heaven’s sake, just…”

Bucky looks up, little face twisted in anger and screams at the Doctor. “It would seem that he doesn’t want you to hold him. Funny, but I’ve always heard that dogs and little kids are good judges of character.” Wanda is smirking and Bruce is holding back a laugh.

Strange rolls his eyes this time, but doesn’t reach towards the child again. “Children have never liked me.” The red cloak that Wanda is sure is some kind of sentient being, flies off the doctor’s shoulders and comes to the baby. It waves a corner at Bucky, who giggles and reaches out. The cloak wraps around Bucky and bounces him out of Wanda’s arms and around the lab. Bucky just keeps giggling and grabbing at the cloak. “It would seem that he has questionable taste in who to trust.”

The cloak stops and Wanda could swear that it’s frowning at the Doctor. “Or, Bucky just doesn’t trust you and knows the cloak is nicer than you.”

Dr. Strange just smirks at her, but while the cloak holds Bucky securely, bouncing him around and causing the baby to laugh, the Sorcerer Supreme scans him. The whole process doesn’t take too long and when the Doctor turns, Wanda knows that he knows something. “It would seem that we are dealing with Asgardian magic.”

Bruce’s head shoots up and Wanda looks confused. “Are you sure?”

Strange isn’t used to people questioning him and pinches the bridge of his nose. “I have had dealings with this before, so yes, I’m sure.”

Wanda looks at Bucky, gumming at the cloak, which is swishing back and forth in a comforting manner. “But why?” That seems to be the question of the day and no one has an answer.

The battle is infuriating long and everyone is tired, but the villains of the week won’t stop and the Avengers have a job to do. Steve’s exhausted and even with alien robots attacking, he can’t stop part of his mind from wandering to Bucky. He’d never ask his best friend to fight when it’s obvious that he doesn’t want to anymore, but part of Steve wishes Bucky was here. They always moved like a unit in battle and Steve misses that. He also misses the snarky comments that his best friend would make in situations like this.

They’ve been at this for days and for him, it’s not that bad, but for the ‘normal’ humans on the team, it’s starting to get worrisome. They keep fighting because he keeps fighting, but their movements are becoming sluggish and that scares Steve. So, when the portal opens and Strange comes through, he’s not sure what to expect.

What does happen is Strange raises his hands and everyone except Steve hits the ground. “Captain, there is a situation at the compound that requires your presence.”

Steve looks around dumbfounded. “Uh…what exactly did you do?”

“Well Captain, your team needed rest and the robots weren’t allowing that, so everyone is asleep until I wake them, including the enemy.” Strange indicates the portal.

“I can’t just leave them here.” Strange squares his shoulders. “Look Doc, if one of the robots wakes up, it would…”

“Captain, I’m going to stay here and ensure that everyone stays down and possibly destroy a few of the robots. I will make sure that everyone is safely home by nightfall.” Steve looks around, nods and walks through the portal.

He steps through into Bruce’s lab. Wanda is leaning on a workbench and Bruce is sitting on the floor with his back to Steve. “Wanda, what’s this all abou…”

That’s when Bruce turns and Steve can see a baby on the floor with him. Something about the brown curls and blue eyes makes Steve stop in his tracks. The baby looks over, grins so wide his tiny face doesn’t contain it, reaches up with chubby hands and screams. “Teve.”

Steve drops the shield causing everyone to wince from the sound and runs to the baby. “Bucky?”

Bucky stands on shaky legs, and waddles over to the super soldier. Steve folds him into a hug. “teve.”

The supplies for Bucky arrive a few hours later, Wanda explains everything to Steve, and Bucky won’t let the blond go. When Steve tries to go shower, to not only clean up, but to also process for a few minutes alone, Bucky won’t let him go. Now that Steve is here, Bucky doesn’t want anyone else. So, Steve goes to his quarters, carrying the little bundle of smiles and giggles, and showers with the baby. He washes the baby then sits him on the bench in the shower. “Don’t move or you’ll fall and I’m not dealing with you being pissed at me for an injury you caused.”

Bucky blows a raspberry at Steve making the super soldier laugh. He raises his little hand towards the many bottles of shampoo and body wash. “Ba.” Steve looks at him then at the bottles. “Ba!”

Handing one over, he watches Bucky try to stick it in his mouth. “Stop that! If you eat soap, you’ll get sick.” Bucky grins and puts the bottle back in his mouth. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.” Steve washes, but keeps an eye on Bucky, who apparently gets some soap in his mouth and begins whining and sticking his tongue out. “I told you so.” Steve gets another raspberry for that comment and it makes him laugh again.

Out of the shower with a towel wrapped around his waist, Steve figures out how diapers work. Bucky keeps kicking his legs, making it impossible for Steve to secure the tape. “Would you stop moving?” Bucky giggles and kicks his legs again. “You’re doing this on purpose.” To try to distract the baby, Steve grabs a foot and kisses it. Bucky laughs a full belly laugh and rolls over. “You are too damn cute.” Bucky can’t crawl because he only has one arm, but he can leverage his one arm and roll back over into a sitting position. Steve just kneels next to the bed looking at him. Something in Bucky’s eyes is self-aware. He sits there, studying Steve. “I wish I knew what was going on in that little head of yours.”

Bucky scoots himself closer to Steve and reaches up, placing his tiny hand against Steve’s cheek. They spend several minutes just staring at each other. Then Bucky’s hand drops, he lowers his head, and starts to cry. Steve scoops him into his arms and sits on the floor cradling Bucky and cries too. This is where Wanda finds them. Running to her two friends, she sits and rubs soothing circles on both of their backs. “Whatever this is, we’ll figure it out and fix it.”

She doesn’t understand what’s happening, but the two finally cry themselves out and Bucky lets Steve put the diaper on without anymore wiggling. In a set of footy pajamas, he sits on the bed and watches Steve get dressed. Wanda turns her back, but doesn’t leave the room. “I think he knows what’s happening.”

Wanda starts to turn, but stops herself. “What do you mean?”

Steve clears his throat and she finally turns. He’s in sweat pants and pulling a shirt over his head. “I think it’s Bucky in there. The way he was looking at me earlier it’s like he knows.”

Steve bends down, picking up the baby, who nestles into Steve’s chest with his face in Steve’s neck. “You’re saying that he’s in a baby’s body, but he’s still Bucky.”

“yeah.” It’s said too quiet. “Maybe he wished for this and that’s why it happened.”

Wanda thinks back to the night before and the shooting star. Is it possible that Loki was somewhere around and heard that? Is it possible that in his own twisted way, Loki is trying to help? “But it’s put us in a delicate situation.” Steve cocks his head to the side. “We’re Avengers and none of us know anything about raising a baby. If this is permanent someone has to take responsibility for raising him.” She snorts. “Are you going to stop being Captain America and become dad?”

She laughs, but Steve doesn’t. Bucky looks up at him. Steve’s face gets so soft and so gentle looking down at Bucky that Wanda stops laughing. “Yeah, that’s exactly what I’m going to do.”

“Steve?”

He doesn’t wait for her to say anything else. He heads out of his quarters and into the common area. Putting Bucky on his hip, he starts fixing a bottle of warm milk. She comes around the corner and Bruce sees the look of shocked dismay on her face. “Wanda?”

The lift opens and the rest of the team comes in looking confused. “Someone want to tell us how we got back here and why the battle is a little fuzzy?” They all stop when they see Steve standing in the kitchen with a baby. “Okay, what did we miss?”

Steve doesn’t speak, just goes on with warming the milk. Wanda sighs and explains everything to the team. Natasha hasn’t taken her eyes off the one armed baby in Steve’s embrace. Clint hears the baby is Barnes and goes over. “Hey little man.” Bucky hides his face in embarrassment then looks back up at Clint with a sheepish grin. “Well aren’t you the cutest little man?” Bucky hides his face again and rubs his face in Steve’s shirt. Clint chuckles.

Sam gets a shit eating grin and goes over. “Gimme the kid.” Steve looks up and Sam sees the possessiveness. “Or not.” He leans on the counter and watches Steve. Just before pouring the milk into the bottle, Steve kisses Bucky’s head and sits him on the counter.

“Don’t move.” Bucky grins up at Steve and Steve chuckles. “You’re going to get everything you want with that smile.”

Bucky stretches out his little arm like he’s getting tired. Tony walks over, quirking his head to the side. “Do you think I can make a baby arm for him?” Then something happens that no one expects. Bucky reaches out to Tony. The genius looks at Steve and the blond nods. Tony picks the baby up and Bucky leans in and blows a raspberry on Tony’s cheek. The billionaire laughs, so Bucky does it again. “I like him like this.”

Steve takes the baby, throwing a towel over his shoulder and heads into the common room, sitting on the sofa and offering Bucky the bottle of milk. Everyone watches in fascination as Steve stops being Captain America Steve and becomes Daddy Steve. Wanda comes over, sitting on the arm of the sofa and watching Bucky drink while holding one of Steve’s fingers. His eyes are drifting shut, but his grip on Steve doesn’t loosen. “You can’t just stop being Captain America.”

Steve looks up then leans in to kiss Bucky’s head. “Watch me.”

The team comes in, sitting around on other sofas and chairs. “Steve?”

The super soldier looks over at Sam. “Sam, this is something I need to do.” Before anyone else can question him, Steve continues. “I know that none of you understand this, but Bucky’s always been the most important part of my life. The most important part of me.” He sighs, leaning over and kissing the baby’s head again. “He took care of me when I was sick as a kid. He took care of me when my ma died. Hell, he took care of me during the war. I wouldn’t be here without his belief in me. I get that this is probably a big joke to Loki, but it gives me a chance to take care of him.”

“Are you saying this is all about pay back?” Sam thinks he knows the answer, but he wants to hear Steve say it.

“No, it’s not about payback. It’s about…” Bucky’s eyes flutter open, he sees Steve, and smiles adoringly. “It’s about love.” He looks up, clearing his throat. “I love him, always have. This is different though.” He removes the bottle from Bucky’s mouth, sitting it aside and raising the baby onto his shoulder. “I can put that love aside and give him another kind of love. I can be his dad and maybe when he grows up, he won’t have all that darkness behind his eyes. If I can love him enough as a father and give him a chance maybe he can grow up and have a good life. Meet a nice girl, go to college, have kids of his own and not feel like he doesn’t deserve that stuff.”

Wanda and Sam look at each other because there is another question to ask, but neither want to be the one to ask it. As it turns out, they don’t have to. “What about your feelings, Cap?”

Steve looks over at Tony. “My feelings never matter. Not really. I’ll always love him, but I can push that down and love him like a father.” It’s not a satisfying answer, but it’s all that Steve has to offer. “That Bucky…my Bucky, the one that I love, he doesn’t exist anymore. This one needs me to be something else for him. I can do that.” He gets up, heading to his quarters. “I’m going to put him down for his nap then I’m going to move all of the baby stuff into my room. His well-being is my responsibility.” Steve stops just before leaving the room completely. “I can’t carry the shield anymore. I can’t take the risk of leaving him alone.”

Steve puts Bucky on his bed and crawls in next to him. He puts a hand on the baby’s back and looks at the vast difference in the size of his hand and how small Bucky is. Closing his eyes, he drifts into a strange, dream filled sleep. When he wakes later, Bucky is on top of him, sleeping peacefully and Steve smiles down at the little, brown curls cascading across his chest. “I’m here for you as long as you need me.”

Bucky starts wiggling around, slowly lifting his head. He grins at Steve. “Teve.”

“Nope, little man. Daddy.” Steve wants to see what happens.

Bucky looks confused for a minute. “Dada?”

“That’s right, Dada.” Steve watches as something fades in Bucky’s eyes. He doesn’t know how he knows, but he’s sure that whatever part of Bucky is still inside this little version is disappearing. His memories of who he is and who Steve is are slowly going away. Tears gather in Steve’s eyes because it means that this is real and his Bucky is really going.

Bucky smiles and instead of it being a knowing smile, it’s the smile of a son for his father. “Dada.” 

Maybe it’s for the best. Maybe giving Bucky a way to start over is good. Maybe this is what he needs to feel like a whole person again. Maybe Steve’s heart is breaking, but it can’t be about him. It has to be about Bucky. Steve is sure there will be days when he can’t cope. Days when he will cry for a lost love. Days when all of this will be too much. Days when Steve will want to give up. But today, Steve Rogers has a son that loves him unconditionally. Today, Steve Rogers becomes dad. Today, Steve Rogers can rejoice in the fact that his best friend gets a do over.

Part 2

Steve laughs at Bucky when he reaches over and puts a red handprint on Steve’s shirt. They are working on a picture with finger paints and when Steve laughs at the new shirt design, Bucky grins up at him like he’s done something miraculous. “I’m never going to wash this shirt again. I can wear your handprint everywhere I go.” 

He reaches over, taking Bucky’s little hand and kissing the back. Then he winks at the little boy. “Daddy.” Leaning up, Bucky kisses Steve’s cheek.

There’s no longer even moments when Steve can look in Bucky’s eyes and see his old friend. That disappeared completely not long after Steve decided that this was for the best. He misses seeing that recognition, but now he has a new recognition from his…his son. Bucky lights up in a way that he never did before, even when they were kids. Everything is new and mesmerizing to the little boy.

During Bruce’s original scans they learned that little Bucky still had the knock off serum, so when Steve suggested that since he wasn’t Captain America anymore that he and Bucky should move out of the compound, Tony had changed his mind stating this fact. “Cap…Steve, if anyone figures out who he is, with the serum, they might come for him. You might not carry the shield, but like it to not, you’re still part of this team. Stay.” What Tony was really saying was that Steve was still family and family takes care of its own. Now, with Bucky about to turn two, the team has decided that it’s party time. 

After getting Bucky cleaned up and fed lunch, Steve sits in the rocking chair in the living room and lulls his baby boy to sleep. The door chimes quietly because FRIDAY has normal volume and Bucky volume. “FRIDAY, who’s at the door?”

‘Ms. Maximoff and Ms. Romanoff are waiting.’

“Let them in.” He doesn’t stand or even stop rocking, gently patting Bucky’s back to keep him peaceful. That’s something else that everyone has noticed, Bucky is, he’s damn near the perfect child. When he has a tantrum, there’s usually a good reason and it never lasts very long. Within minutes of Steve picking him up, he’s fine and cuddled into his Daddy’s arms.

The door opens, admitting the two women, who smile at the picture Steve makes, rocking his son and smiling down at him. Bucky fills every inch of Steve’s heart. The other Bucky, the one that doesn’t exist anymore, lives in a special place with cracks and fissures. That part of Steve’s heart will always be broken because he never even got the chance to find out if that love was returned. He doesn’t look at that part very often because it’s too painful. But, that Bucky isn’t alive. That’s how Steve has to think about it otherwise his mind goes in circles that he can’t get out of. The rest of Steve’s heart is now filled with a little boy that smiles with such joy and loves Steve and Steve loves in return. He’s everything Steve never thought he would have. A child that is completely devoted to Steve and in return Steve gives his total devotion.

Wanda comes over, kneeling down and caressing Bucky’s head. She’s smiling, but tears gather in her eyes. “Wanda, you okay?”

She looks up and sniffles. “Yeah, just admiring how sweet he is.” Steve knows there’s something more, but he lets that go for now.

“That he is. Let me put him down and we can talk.” She moves away and Nat puts an arm around her. That again sets Steve on edge.

Coming back into the room, he carries the baby monitor and sits it on the counter. “Steve, we need to talk.”

He sits in the chair facing to two women. “That doesn’t sound ominous at all.”

“We’ve lost control of Tony.” Steve sits forward trying to gage the seriousness of the situation. “He’s ordered a hot air balloon ride for Bucky’s party and insists that Bucky gets the first ride.”

Steve barks a laugh. “You two had me worried.” They both grin knowing that they had played him pretty well. “And if he thinks he’s taking my son up in that thing, he’s got another thing coming.”

Steve’s left the party planning to Tony and the women and told them he doesn’t care what they do, but did let Tony know that the hot air balloon was off limits. The genius had glared at the women, then tried to change Steve’s mind. It didn’t go well. Four days before the party, the Avengers are called away. Everyone goes, including the new Captain America. Sam took to the role like he was made for it and Steve has no longing to every take it up again.

As he straps Bucky into the car seat, he hands him a sippy cup and kisses him on the head. “We’re going to see if Aunt May needs any help at the relocation center. You going to be good for Auntie May?”

Bucky raises his arm above his head and grins. “Yeth.”

Steve doesn’t remember Bucky ever having a lisp, but it’s the cutest damn thing he’s ever heard. “Good boy.” And he kisses him again before going around to the driver’s door.

The relocation center is busy and Steve finds Happy making phone calls and May directing people. She sees them and comes running over, clapping her hands and holding them out for Bucky. He lunges at her and she catches him, laughing. “There’s my big boy.” He kisses her cheek and she cradles him and rocks back and forth. “Did you come to help today?”

“Yeth.” She smooches his cheek over and over.

Steve just grins. For whatever reason, May doesn’t make him possessive, but when anyone else wants to hold Bucky this way, Steve has to fight every urge to grab him back. “What can we do to help today?”

She leads him over to a table with a list. “We need more donations and people have started getting stingy with their money. Mr. Stark can only give so much and I don’t want to ask for anymore, so if you could make a few phone calls…”

“Say no more. Do you want me to take him?” May twists away laughing.

“I don’t get to see him often enough, Steven, so he’s going to sit with me while I do some work.” She bounces over to her desk and sits Bucky in her lap. Steve sits and picks up the phone to make his first call. It’s amazing what former Captain America, Steve Rogers, can get people to donate. After nearly an hour, Steve, keeping an eye on the phone, but one on Bucky, grins when he sees May is letting him ‘type’ out an email.

Happy clears his throat. Steve jerks back to awareness. “You know, I think that kids going to be spoiled rotten with you as his dad.”

Steve blushes. “Well, when we were kids we had nothing. Now, I can give him everything and I don’t feel bad about doing it.”

“Well, I’d say he’s pretty damn lucky to have you as a dad, no matter how weird the circumstances around it are.” He goes back to the phone and starts dialing.

Steve works for another couple of hours when May comes over. “Happy and I were going to get dinner soon, you should come.”

“You sure Bucky and I won’t be in the way?” He winks at her.

“Shut up, Rogers. Is there anything he won’t eat?” She indicates Bucky.

“No, he’s pretty happy with anything. I’m lucky that he’s not picky.” Bucky leans in and Steve takes him, sitting him on the table in front of him.

“Yeah, you are. Peter still won’t eat certain things. Then again, not many people like brussel sprouts.”

Steve reaches over and pokes Bucky’s little, round tummy, making the baby giggle. “As long as I roast them with garlic, this little vacuum cleaner will eat them.”

They end up at a little Mexican place near the relocation offices in Queens. The waitress fawns over Bucky, who grins at her while playing with a spoon. While she’s taking their drink order, Bucky looks up at Steve. “Daddy!” He points to the lanterns hanging from the ceiling.

“Those are really neat, aren’t they, Buck?” Bucky nods and the waitress nearly melts into the floor when Steve leans over, looking at the lights from Bucky’s perspective and kisses the little boys cheeks. From that point on, she flirts relentlessly with Steve.

He’s nice about it, but doesn’t respond in kind. May grins at Happy behind her water glass and when the waitress walks away, she strikes. “You should date, Steve.”

Steve looks up shocked because he hadn’t even realized what was happening. Happy chuckles and gives Bucky a piece of a flour tortilla. “Where is this coming from?”

“Well, she was flirting with you and Bucky seemed to like her, so…” Bucky looks up when his name is said.

“Buby?” Steve leans in, kissing the top of his son’s head.

“Yes Bucky.” He offers Bucky a drink from his water glass that the little boy takes, smiling.

“Who’s Bucky?” Steve reaches over, tickling Bucky’s stomach.

Through his giggles, he answers his daddy. “Me Buby.”

“That’s right. My Bucky.”

Bucky nods furiously. “Daddy Buby.” Bucky leans up, crinkling his nose and Steve leans in rubbing their noses together. May knows it’s a losing battle at that point and that Steve will never date because all of his energy and love go into a little boy never meant to be in this odd position.

As Steve straps a yawning Bucky into the car seat, May leans on the car. “Steve?”

“Hum…yeah…what’s up May?” She smiles at him and reaches up, brushing the hair from his forehead.

“You’re allowed to want a relationship.” She clears her throat. “When Ben died, I spent all of my time taking care of Peter. It was good, but got lonely. You’re allowed to have something besides your fatherly duties to Bucky.”

Steve stops, thinking about what she’s saying. Finally, he says it out loud for someone other than himself. He’s said it once to the team, but they didn’t really understand what he meant at the time. “I am in love with someone.”

She looks ecstatic. “Why didn’t you tell anyone?”

He leans on the open door. “The man I am in love with doesn’t exist anymore. He’s gone May and he isn’t coming back. So, I put that part of my heart away and love a little boy that doesn’t know anything other than I’m his dad. He’s my son in every way possible.”

May connects the dots quickly. Reaching up, she cups Steve’s face. “Oh Steve. I’m so sorry.”

He takes her wrist, holding it steady. “Don’t be. This way he gets to grow up and only know love and kindness. He gets to be free of everything they did to him and every failure I brought on him.”

“And what about you, Steve? What do you get?”

“I get to be his father and watch the successes of his life.” He kisses her cheek and goes to get in the driver’s side. May walks over to Happy, hugging him and they watch the car pull away.

“I don’t understand any of this. Why would Loki do this? As happy as that little boy is, Steve’s dying inside and none of us can do anything about it.”

Happy kisses her quickly. “I don’t think that Steve sees it that way.”

“We never see what’s right in front of us. We only realize it later when it’s too late.”

Part 3

Bucky’s birthday dawns with blue skies and perfect temperatures. Steve gets up early to make waffles because they are Bucky’s favorite. When the little boy comes waddling into the kitchen, rubbing his eyes and clutching his bear, Steve looks down smiling. “Morning Birthday Boy. How did you sleep?”

Bucky looks up, tears in his eyes and making grabby hand at Steve. “Daddy.”

Steve scoops him up, holding him close. “Awww, sweet boy, what’s wrong?”

Bucky buries his face in Steve’s neck, crying softly. “Bad picures, tevie.”

Steve’s eyes get wide and he leans away, looking into Bucky’s eyes. “Bucky?” He’s shocked at what he sees. “Nightmares?” Steve closes his eyes, trying to think how to put it. “Uh…bad pictures while you were sleeping?” Bucky nods, but that isn’t the only thing that’s bothering Steve. “Buck, honey, why did you call me Stevie?” He’s sure that Bucky can’t understand what he’s asking. The baby is only two, but Bucky leans away, looking up, caressing Steve’s face and Steve sees it. The recognition is back.

“My ‘tevie.” Steve goes into a panic. Things have been so, so good. Bucky’s been flourishing with love and positive attention. Why now? Why would it all come back now?

“Oh god, Bucky. Do you know who you are?” Again, he doesn’t know if the little boy will understand, but he nods and crawls out of Steve’s lap and goes into the living room. He comes back with Steve’s sketch pad. Sitting back in Steve’s lap, he flips through the pages until he gets to a drawing of the Winter Soldier.

“Me.” Steve starts to cry and closes the pad.

Turning Bucky in his lap, he looks him straight in the eye. “No, that isn’t you! That will never be you again. You are James Buchannan Barnes-Rogers. You are Bucky. The Winter Soldier is gone and he isn’t coming back.” Standing he goes to the mirror by the front door. He holds Bucky to him and turns them so Bucky can see. “That’s you. You’re my Bucky Bear and I’m your Daddy. There is no one else.” Bucky turns and the smile he gives Steve is all too knowing for a two year old. Steve starts to cry and Bucky clings to him in a show of comfort that shouldn’t be possible for one so young.

The party is a hit with everyone and Bucky runs and plays with the other kids, but occasionally, he’ll look over at Steve and the blond can see a look that isn’t a toddler. When it gets to be too much, Bucky will come over and ask to be picked up. When that happens, he’ll hold onto Steve, but not for himself, but for Steve’s sake. “No sad, Daddy.”

That night, Steve puts Bucky in the bed with him, watching the little eyes fight to stay open. In the end, his little boy loses the fight and drifts into sleep. Steve just watches his chest rise and fall into the wee hours of the morning. That’s when he feels the presence. Sitting up quickly, Steve comes face to face with Loki, smiling kindly at them both.

“You wish to understand why I would do this and then take it away.” There’s nothing threatening about the god of mischief. In fact, Steve would say that he doesn’t think he’s ever seen the look of joy in the god’s eyes. He seems to be entranced by Bucky and Steve doesn’t understand that.

“I don’t understand and it seems like a waste of your time.” Loki sits on the end of the bed, putting Steve on edge.

“It was you in 2012, was it not Captain.” Loki waves his hand and like a computer screen, the space above the bed fills with a scene from their time travel. “You returned to retrieve the stones to defeat Thanos.”

So that’s who this is. “Yes, and you escaped with the tesseract and we had to change our plans.”

Loki chuckles. “Yes, I did and it has been an interesting ride since then, Captain. I have seen much that I was not meant to see. I saw you, in many timelines, doing all of this for him.” He looks down at the floor. “I saw my brother crumble under the weight of what he perceived as a failure. I watched the destruction of my home and people and then my own death. I have seen too much and learned too much.”

Steve looks over at Bucky, still sleeping peacefully unaware. “It was always for him, but why do you care? Was this just a game?”

Loki doesn’t move, but he takes in everything. “My mother and father loved each other very much, but they were very different people. My father could be overbearing and angry, while my mother was quiet and loving.” Steve is confused by this conversation. “You see Captain, I grew up in a home with someone that loved me unconditionally. Well, two someone’s, but my father was not one of them.” Loki stands and paces the room. “I have watched all of you and what you have built here is family, but you and your friend could never get passed the guilt you both have about the other.”

“I don’t get what you’re trying to say.” Steve reaches over, rubbing Bucky’s back when he rolls over.

“You carry guilt because you believe you should have taken care of him when you really had no way of doing that and he carries guilt for not being what he believes you need.” Steve’s still confused, but Loki doesn’t give him time to question. “What the two of you kept missing was that if you would simply let your feelings show, the other would and could reciprocate. I simply took away the barrier that stood in your way.”

Steve looks over at Bucky again. “You gave us a way to love each other that we could each accept.”

“Quite right, but it was never meant to be permanent.”

“Maybe it should be.” Steve doesn’t know why he’s let his guard down with a man that’s done so much to mess up the world.

“Or maybe you need to listen to a little boy when he calls you ‘my Stevie.’” With that, Steve passes out and green magic engulfs the room.

Part 4

Steve wakes in a cocoon of warmth that he’s never felt before. It’s so comfortable that he lets himself drift in it for a time. It isn’t until that warmth moves that he starts awake. Turning, he expects to find Bucky’s little body against him, but as he tries to turn, the warmth nuzzles closer, an arm slips around his waist, and holds him steady. Looking around Steve sees that Loki is gone and everything is as it should be, except…

“Bucky?” Grey/blue eyes flutter open, smiling up at Steve. “Oh god, Bucky…”

He can’t stop the tears that bleed from his eyes. His little boy is gone, but in his place is a friend that he lost so many months ago. He’s engulfed by emotions that he can’t censor. Bucky’s back, but his baby boy is gone. How does he reconcile that? Bucky sits up, letting the blanket fall away. Turning a deep shade of red, he grabs for the covers. “Sorry, guess the pajamas you put me in didn’t grow with me.”

Steve blushes too, but that doesn’t stop him from looking at the expanse of muscled torso that greets his teary eyes. “I guess not.” Turning away in the bed, he tries to regroup. “I’m sorry.”

Bucky sits up, laying a hand on Steve’s back. “What are you sorry for?”

“That you have to be back like this. You were so happy before.” Steve sniffles and tries again to get up, but Bucky holds him in place.

“I’m still happy. You make me that way.” Bucky turns so that he can slip his arm around Steve’s waist and kisses his shoulder. “You were a great dad.”

“You remember?” Everything from the last months washes over Steve and he feels the blush travel down his body. If Bucky remembers then why isn’t he more upset? Saying goodbye to this Bucky was hard enough, but now he’s got to say goodbye to that little, chubby ray of sunshine. He starts crying again.

“I remember everything. It’s weird, like watching a dream, but it’s all still there.” Steve can’t help the sob that comes out. He’d resigned himself to being Bucky’s daddy and now that’s gone. He’s not sure how he feels about any of it now. Bucky pulls him back into the pillows and blankets, wrapping an arm around him tightly and lets his friend cry. It takes more time than Bucky expected for Steve to pull himself together. “You’d rather have little me back, huh?” The resignation that Steve had to embrace months ago, shows evidently on Bucky’s face.

Steve sits up sharply. “NO! It isn’t that. It’s just that…well…you were…happy.”

Bucky smirks. “I’m still happy. In fact, I haven’t felt this happy in a long time. I’m glad I’m back this way. I’m glad you’re here. I’m happy we’re together.”

“I’m going to miss that little guy.” Buck snorts a laugh.

“I can get some footy pajamas and call you daddy.” It’s Steve’s turn to snort.

“I think it takes on a whole new meaning if you start doing that while you’re like this.” Bucky barks a laugh at that.

They’re quiet for a time, it stretches and Steve doesn’t know what to say. He’s never had that problem with Bucky before, even when he was still finding himself, Steve knew what to say, but that’s all changed now. He’s embarrassed. He’s also confused and scared. Mostly, he’s confused though.

“Where do we go from here?” Bucky asks the question in hopes that Steve will help him figure this out.

“I have no idea. What do you want to do? Do you want to stay here or would you rather have a life somewhere else?” Bucky seems to be mulling that over and Steve hopes beyond hope that Bucky will want to stay.

“I think I’d like to have a home of my own. Someplace where I can just be me and not what everyone expects.” He’s staring off into space and Steve feels his gut sink to a depth that he’s only felt once in his life.

“Oh…yeah…okay. I can help you with that.” He has to be supportive because Bucky’s been through too much for anyone to tell him what to do anymore.

“We’ll need an extra room, something with lots of light. You need a studio.” Steve’s head shoots up.

“Wait…you mean together?” Steve’s heart starts beating at a rate that can’t be safe, not even for a super soldier.

“Well yeah, what did you think I meant?” He turns as he says it and sees so many emotions playing across his best friends face.

“I…I just…well…”

“You thought I wanted to leave you?” Bucky sees it. He sees that Steve was resigning himself to Bucky walking out the door and never looking back. It breaks his heart that Steve believes he could walk away. 

“Well yeah.” There’s no stiff upper lip anymore, there’s just Steve looking like his heart is in a million pieces.

Bucky turns fully to face his friend, adjusting the blanket to keep everything covered and takes Steve’s hand. He thinks that maybe he wants Stark to make him an arm if the genius hasn’t already. “Steve, listen…” Steve doesn’t look up, just stares at their hands. “Stevie, look at me.” Blue eyes, still teary, look up. “You gave up everything to be my dad, to raise me in love and kindness. You gave me everything, your undivided attention, your gentleness, your love. You didn’t even think about it, you just did it because you knew that I needed you. You seem to think that I don’t need you anymore.” Steve’s eyes go back down.

“You don’t.” It’s nothing but a whisper and again Bucky feels his heart clinch. 

“You think I could walk away from you? Really?” Steve glances up. “Even before, I couldn’t leave you. I didn’t really like it here, but I stayed because you were here. Now…jesus…now Steve, after knowing what you are willing to do to make me happy and safe.” He reaches up, cupping the back of Steve’s head and pulls him so their foreheads rest gently together. “Come with me. Let’s find some little place where we can just be.”

Steve opens his eyes, not even sure when he closed them, and looks into the eyes of a man that isn’t trying to hide anything. “I’d go anywhere you wanted. Hell Buck, I’ll be anyone you want.” His mouth says the words, but his brain screeches to halt at what he just admitted.

“I just need you to be you. What I learned over the last months is that you would give me the world if I asked for it.” Bucky’s eyes crinkle at the corners and his nose scrunches up and Steve sees that little boy. “And to be clear, I don’t want the world, I just want you.”

“Buck…” Steve’s fighting a losing battle, one that he’s been fighting for so long that he doesn’t know a time that he wasn’t. If Bucky doesn’t stop, Steve’s going to cross a line that he’ll never be able to take back.

“I’m going to kiss you now. You gonna be okay with that?” Steve just nods because words are failing him. Bucky’s lips are soft, softer than Steve thought they would be and they move against Steve’s like they’ve been doing this for years. Steve finds himself being pushed back to lay amongst the pillows and Bucky hovering over him. The look is adoration that Steve doesn’t think he deserves. “I had forgotten what loving someone could feel like. You reminded me in way that was unexpected and I’m going to remind you every day.”

“I’m gonna have to thank Loki and I’m not sure how I feel about that.” Bucky laughs then leans in to kiss Steve again.

“At some point we’re going to have to discuss the fact that I have your last name now.” Steve’s eyes widen and he reaches up, stroking a finger down Bucky’s face. He’s very clear on what Bucky is implying. The brunette’s eyes close with the gentle caress.


End file.
